That blog title ought generate some hits, but it is true. No profit in porno. Or at least in old Playboy magazines.
Friend of mine owns one of those rental storage lots. You know what I am talking about. Chain link fence, punch code, bring your own padlock, pay by the month. These things get used for lots of reasons, some legitimate and some not, but a significant amount of those units are used by people getting divorced or otherwise splitting up, or people who have been otherwise evicted from their premises. The theory being, for them, "I will put my stuff in storage for a few weeks until I get back on my feet, or find a new place to live." Sounds good in theory. But what seems to happen a lot is that people don't get back on their feet very fast. Or their mom/brother/best friend lets them move in, but doesn't want all the stuff in their garage. So, it sits in storage.
Eventually because of financial woes, disinterest, or who knows what, the rent is defaulted on and the entire lot of possessions goes up for auction so that the warehouse owner can try to recoup some of his or her losses, as well as put the defaulted upon unit back into a money making state, rather than just sitting idle, yet un-vacant.
So, this friend lets me know of an upcoming auction at her lot. She needs some help before the auction, so I go and help her and I spot a few bicycles that I want for my son. So, the day of auction I am down and bidding on a unit. Now, when you bid on a defaulted unit, you are bidding on (and buying) exactly everything in the unit. You are required to empty the unit within 48 hours. In other words, you can't (for example) see a unit packed wall to wall with junk with one Tiffany lamp, and bid the unit and win, and then take the lamp and leave the junk. You buy it all, and weed out the treasure from trash at your own leisure, and off premises. As well, you are bidding and buying "on sight", and not necessarily on knowledge. The unit is opened, and everyone is given an opportunity to look inside, without entering it, and that is what you are bidding on. So, typically, you see a few big items (furniture, boxes) up front, and the rest is a mystery. Sometimes, all you see are boxes stacked high and packed deep. You can use your imagination on that, as to would you spend (gamble) $10, $30, $100 to load up 10 to 40 unopened boxes to take home and look for the mystery prize? What will you find? Lots of out of style clothing? Dishes and small appliances? Camera gear? Or just lots of empty boxes? But, the main point being, if the unit is packed pretty deep and it is a "divorce unit" or something similar, you are going to get the types of things, buried in the back, that can't be seen, but represent some aspects of a persons personal life.
Now, before you condemn this process as scavenging or being a vulture, which is certainly can take the flavor of, it is a required legality to do it. Obviously, the warehouse owner cannot let people store their things for free and indefinitely. But the only legal way to get rid of it is to auction it off. And the majority of the stuff makes its way back into circulation. Most of the bidders are not people looking for a couch for the house, or for lawn furniture. They are people who own or operate some level of business that works on the "resale" or "used" market. Anything from an antique shop to a clothing consignment shop.
So, anyhow, in this process of helping out and buying the storage unit with the bicycles, I end up with a footlocker and a very large box worth of Playboy magazines. That is a LOT of Playboys. There is really nothing else of note in this collection. A few other non-pornographics, but 99.9% Playboys. Now, if I was 12 years old, I would have hit the Mother Lode. Sadly, I am not 12. My son is 12, but he won't be hitting this Mother Lode. Sorry, boy. If you want Playboys at 12, you will have to get them the old fashioned way. Steal them from somebodies dad. Only this Dad is keeping a close eye on them.
Unfortunately, the market for used Playboys, or even unused ones, is both saturated and very much a buyers market. E-bay listings for the things are a joke. Even the ones you would think might have some small value, like the Bo Derek or Suzanne Sommers spreads (no pun intended) are essentially worthless. If, according to the E-bay bidding, I had a collection of black and white or 8 color hardcore Gay mags from the 1970's as large as this Playboy collection, I would be shopping for a home in Palm Springs as soon as my PayPal account cleared. As it is, my collection represents a more mundane, less exciting brand of compulsive weirdness.
However, with about 10 gallons of diesel I bet these things will finally burn out that stump in the backyard.
Labels: trailer park logic